a-muse-ing

There are days when I wonder how I am going to raise my three kids. Okay, those are most of the days in the year. There are days when my oldest son drives me absolutely crazy and I wonder if his mouth stopped moving if he would still breathe. There are days when my daughter is pouting and whining and I wonder where she could possibly have learned this bad habit. There are days when my youngest boy is crying most of the day and I wonder if my head will every stop aching.

These are the things you never think about when you are falling in love with someone. No, you picture picket fences and bruised knees covered in band-aids. You imagine baking banana bread as your children knit scarves by the fire (no that might have been a Jane Austen book).

Parenting is hard most of the time. People are difficult all of the time. Just when you think you will be driven to madness, one of your offspring says something loving or funny, and you remember why you carried that sweet thing through 40 weeks of torture. And you remember why you looked like a beached whale and waddled to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Yes, you know that these dog days will eventually go away, and you will be left with an empty house. In the mean time, you look forward to the minute they are all in bed and Ben & Jerry calls your name from the freezer.

I went to this website where they tell you how much your blog is supposedly worth. So, I put in my address and then hit submit. I got an error, and that’s when I realized I needed to put in my website address. Anyway, this is what I got:

My blog is worth $32,178.78.
How much is your blog worth?

Now I don’t know how they figure these things out, but they can’t be right. So I took the number of blogs I have written divided by the number of comments and multiplied it by the square root of 5 and then divided that by the number of days in the year. Then I multiplied that number by my favorite number, 15 and took that number and divided it by the square number of hits and I came up with my blog being worth $2.13.  I think that is a more accurate figure. Wow what a sobering thought to think my writing is not even worth a pint of ice cream — I might have some change in the bottom of my purse to add to it though. Any bidders?

I noticed someone did a search for “cute ice cream rhymes” and found my blog. I thought I would try to not disappoint them the next search. You can even sing the rhyme to just about any tune written in the 80’s. Be sure to click on the cloning link.

Ben & Jerry, your the best

Make my butt so nice — I say in jest

Ben & Jerry’s flavors are so awesome

I’m glad they don’t have chocolate covered possum

Ben & Jerry are philanthropists

Against cloning cows and for Festivus

I know you all were just about to figure it out, but I hate making you think so hard. I am going to tell you the flavor:

Peanut Butter Cup

 I can just hear the groans–maybe next time!  

Some of you have been working so hard on that flavor I thought I would give you another clue–it will be like sherades (is that how you spell that word — I’ve never read it before– only seen it acted out).

1st word: If you add an “s” at the end then –it is a comic strip  and in the south they like to boil them

2nd word: I’m on a roll that’s why I have _________ on my pants

3rd word: As a girl crosses into womanhood, she will need to know her _____ size — this could determine her popularity in High School

Well, I hope that helps! I know some of you are racking your brain and I worry you might brake something or get cluster headaches …