a-muse-ing

Apparently, short women aren’t the only ones feeling slighted. Short men have no reason either. According to Wired magazine, a 5′8″ man has to make $146,000 more a year than a 6″ man in the online dating world to attract a girl. I guess lift shoes would be cheaper.

I decided to check out the new show You’ve Got the Look. Basically, it is another next-top-model-type show for 35 and olders. I thought it was for real women–meaning I thought there would be all types and sizes. I don’t know why I thought this. There was a lady who is 63 and looks great — incredibly photogenic and great personality–but the rest look like the typical model to me. Tall, thin, tall did I say tall? There is one girl who is 5′5 1/2″ and they almost didn’t let her through because she wasn’t tall enough. What is with the descrimination against the less than tall stature? We wear clothes also –don’t we? And honestly if only your face is on the cover of a magazine who is going to know how tall you are?

When I lived in Spain my height was never an issue. Actually Spaniards thought I was just right — even a little tall. At least the acting community accepts the shorter ones. Penelope Cruz, a Spaniard, is 5′4″ or so and no one thinks less of her. Of course then there is Paz Vega one of those tall Spaniards at 5′6 1/2″ although there is a debate on this. One website said she was 5′8″ and another website had two Spanish women arguing over her height. Apparently both had seen her in person in Sevilla.  Heather Locklear is 5′5″ and she wears a size -1 I believe. Sarah Jessica Parker is a whopping 5′4″ (which to me is the perfect height) of course she is never that tall because she is always in stilettos and is another one that is a size -1.

So overall, I was disappointed in the show. It was incredibly boring. Why I thought it would be remotely interesting I am not sure. I about choked on my chocolate ice cream when one of the judges called these models “mature models”. Mature? 35 is now mature? Isn’t 30 the new 20? So aren’t 35-year- olds only 25? And they were all very thin. Not anorexic thin but still very thin. I guess the thought will always be that clothes look better on a hanger than curves.

I was finally prepared. I saw something funny and I was there on the scene with my camera. I had my caption in my mind and got the shot. Only one problem, in order to get the humor, you have to be able to read both of the signs. The second sign was a bit hard to read at first.

Can you tell the photo was retouched? Anyway, this was a glimpse of how difficult it can be to drive in California. Now which is funnier, the photo retouch job or the signs?

First, let me say I had high expectations for this movie. I am a Tina Fey and 30 Rock fan so I was expecting to laugh and I did laugh. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have great chemistry and timing. This movie is about a career woman (Fey) who has put off having a personal life (family) for the sake of her career. Fey’s character is an executive with a healthy foods company and wants to have a baby; only she can’t so in comes the surrogate mommy (Amy Poehler). Her boss, played by Steve Martin, does a great job of keeping a straight face as the health guru/owner of the company. Although this movie didn’t have tears rolling down my face from laughter, it did have some moments that made me laugh out loud. I appreciated a scene where Steve Martin’s character rewarded Fey’s character by giving her five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.

The audience surrounding me in the cinema was laughing most of the time. No one seemed to laugh at the parts I thought were the funniest, however, that is more of a reflection on me I guess. Some of the humor is predicatable, but still done well. There are a few jr. high moments, but that is to be expected. The birthing instructor has a nice, uh, lisp? (think Billy Crystal’s part in The Princess Bride i.e. ”mawidge”) this makes the birthing class quite funny.

The bellman, Oscar, played by Romany Malco, had a few good lines. What is with these comedies where the bellman has the time to get involved in the life of the main characters? Who is at the door when he is up there spending time with Kate (Fey) and Angie (Poehler)?

Overall, I didn’t regret going to see the movie and my husband and I had some goods laughs. But, if you go and see it and don’t like it, don’t expect me to refund your money, honey.

Verdict:

 Four scoops of ice cream for Baby Mama

KEY:

            = I left the cinema; I wasted $11.50

    = I wished I left the cinema; I stayed in misery

          = I had a few smiles; I could have waited for Netflix

 = I laughed out loud at least 5 times; I am glad I went to see it.

 = I was laughing hard; must buy on DVD; why didn’t I write this script?

I just read an article on the NY Times website about the rise in nude vacations. I thought it must be a joke. I lived in Europe for almost seven years so I am quite used to the topless beaches. Now there are men who are thinking, all right gotta love that. Put this thought into your mind: most of the topless women were 60-year-old German women. The article, anyway, mentions that as people become more close to nature they are wanting to be more natural. Many hotels and even cruise-lines are catering to these nature buffs.

What I found incredibly interesting was the type of activities at some of these open resorts. One optional clothing vacation was a biking trip. Am I the only one who thinks this could be a problem? I remember biking with my friend who was a serious biker. I hadn’t been on a bike since I was in elementary school and decided to go with her (fully clothed) on what she called a little ride. Miles later, I stepped down off the bike and have never walked the same. Don’t biking shorts have padding for a reason?

One of the quotes in the article was a lady who said she liked the nude vacations because when everyone is naked you don’t know the class of people. In other words, you won’t be able to see how much money someone makes by the clothes they are wearing, and that it makes everyone seem equal. I understand not being able to see the rich man’s $1000 italian shoes; however, we still rank people by their looks don’t we? Isn’t an ugly naked guy going to be less popular than the handsome naked guy?

There was also a reference by the writer to the Olympic games. It was indicated that the Greeks were nude for the first games. I have done my research and cannot find proof of this so-called fact. I haven’t found even one photo of nude shot-putters, high-jumpers, javelin-throwers, or figure skaters. There is a story about a nude sprinter; however, the facts aren’t clear if he was intentionally nude or simply lost his shorts or maybe his chlamys (toga). Spartans are believed to have competed in the buff. Leave it to those Spartans to want to throw a discus without cumbersome robes.

Thankfully, these vacations haven’t become family vacations. Well, they tend to be couple vacations; however, they don’t bring the kids along.  Even older parents can’t seem to get their 40+ children to go with them on these trips. Imagine that?

This does, however, remind me of Spain. Our neighbors behind us were interesting people. The man loved to blare his Jesus Christ Superstar CD out into the back yard. It was quite entertaining listening to him try to sing it in English. His wife was even more intriguing. She was a topless sun bather. Well, that isn’t quite doing it justice. She was a topless summer person. Toplessness does not have to be secluded to sunbathing. She felt a certain freedom, I guess, when she swept her back porch in her bikini bottoms. It was a sight I to this day try to block out of my memory. My favorite memory had to be when their son invited his girlfriend over for the afternoon and they decided to pose for pictures. I could just imagine the girl being an American and showing the picture to her parents back home!