The Doctor is In?

18 Nov 2008 3 Comments

by rjlight in Humor Tags: , , ,

I don’t go to the doctor much. Let’s see in High School when I had an epidectomy, 3 babies and just those routine woman visits. I’m not the kind of gal to run to the doctor every sniffle. So, when I was in horrible pain this weekend and my husband begged me to go to the doctor, I did not want to go. I have the internet — what do I need to go to the doctor for? I was already partially diagnosed and had a few more websites to go. But, I went.

I called the nurse on the phone and talked to her a bit about my back and leg pain. She asked me 5,000 questions and then maked an appointment for me. When I got to the doctor, the nurse asked me why I was there while she weighed me and took my blood pressure. Then the doctor came in and asked me why I was there. Why do I have to repeat this 3 times? Didn’t someone write this down in the computer somewhere? If I ever go back to the doctor again I have decided that I will give three different symptoms. To the lady who makes appointments: I need an appointment, my bursites is acting up. To the nurse in the doctor’s office: I think my tonsils need to come out, and to the doctor I will tell him both the other things and add constipation and a pain in my right baby toe. I don’t think it will matter. He will finally read my chart, see that I am allergic to amoxicillan and prescribe me something else–pain killer, anti-inflammatory, or some placebo and maybe the “catch-all” antibiotics so he fills he has made me happy.

So, I got the prescription and it sits in my pantry–just in case. I didn’t want drugs I wanted “Dr. House” to figure out why I was in pain and explain it to me so that I can prevent it the next time. Is that too much to ask? An actual diagnosis? No, I didn’t hurt my back and legs riding my bike. Something else caused my legs to be throbbing in pain. I know the difference between sore legs from overexertion and throbbing legs that just hurt. And I didn’t ride my bike for two days before the pain started. And my back and neck still hurt so now what? 

So now I will go to massage therapy where they will listen to my pain. Where I will hear soothing music and will feel better after I leave. I will not need to go to the pharmacy when I am finished. I will just be happy that there are people in this world with soothing hands–which will come in handy when my bursitis and little toe act up again.

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