Study on brain bleeding means

I just have to say I get a kick out of these great news items. There was a study conducted on newborns that concluded that one in four babies that were delivered naturally (not by cesarean) “suffered a limited amount of intracranial bleeding, but the bleeding is limited and has no apparent effect.” Wow, that is helpful. Now all of these pregnant women are going to be asking their doctors if they can have a cesarean because of a study that means–what? We don’t know. Maybe, just a thought, they could have waited to release this information until they could actually conclude something helpful?

As soon as I read the story, I ran over to my kids with a flash light and looked in their ears. I didn’t see any bleeding so I think they recovered fine if they did bleed. In five or ten years from now, they will follow-up with a conclusion that the internal bleeding is a natural part of the birthing process and is actually helpful for some cranial-thalamusal-medullan-cerubellum reason. Until then, every paranoid mother-to-be will be freaking out because there is a one in four chance that if they have their child naturally, the child might have brain bleeding that means–once again, nothing conclusive.

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President of Country–Job Available Soon

Are you energetic and outgoing? Do you enjoy traveling? We are looking for the right person for our office here in Washington D.C. The following are helpful skills; however, we will consider all candidates with substantial financial support and public following.

  • Must have a strong demeanor—you will be confronted every day of your job
  • Must have a sense of humor—you will be the brunt of every joke
  • Must have strong leadership ability—you will have only enough power to cause chaos
  • Must appear to be a team-player
  • Must be an accomplished double-talker
  • Must be able to change opinions multiple times if necessary
  • Must be available at all times and willing to forgo necessary sleep if needed
  • Foreign language is a plus—any attempts will provide more material for international comic strips and late night talk shows
  • Articulation is optional—mispronunciation assures attention to your message
  • Idealism is a plus but is sure to wane as the job progresses

Great perks–housing provided—including vacation housing. Good benefits. Competitive salary. Apply on television. No phone calls please.

Top 10 reasons you should read my blog

10. It will make you smile or your money back guaranteed

  9. I’ve never received a complaint about this blog today

  8. It’s free (unfortunately for me)

 7. Tuesday is Ben & Jerry’s ice cream day–eat all you want while reading

 6. You might learn something. (not very often but once in awhile)

 5. My blog has zero trans fat

 4. I am ranked 1,662,383  760,925 on Technorati–the potential is enormous

 3. I am one of the few who aren’t trying to run for President

 2. I have an amusing quote (over to the right or is it my left?) every week

 1. A good dairy cow produces about 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime

Base jumping at 100

Emma Faust Tillman, the world’s oldest known person died today. She was 114 and an avid BASE jumper. It is unbelievable how long she participated in one of the most dangerous sports in the world and lived so long. More

All-purpose appliance

The amazing microwave, able to pop popcorn in minutes, kill deadly bacteria, and start house fires. According to the Guardian a man set fire to his kitchen after following directions he heard on a news program. More

The scent in the air…

I believe all the women in my family were blessed with a strong olfactory organ. I don’t know about the men. I don’t have any scientific proof, but I think that women tend to have a stronger sense of smell than men. This explains men’s ability to wait patiently for the pile of laundry stuck-together-in-the-corner to wash itself. It also helps them to be more frugal than women as they have no problem creating meals from old left-overs coated with grey fuzzy film. More

The stuffing of America

I have lived in another country and visited many others–there is no place like the US if you want stuff. Take the warehouse stores, for example, after you pick up your 49 lbs of bacon you see the electronics section. You think, hey that 61 inch screen television is $199 cheaper this month. I could use that tv–I’ll move the other one into the bathroom–it should fit, I have high ceilings. So you leave with More

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