Anonymousics Anonymous

I’ve decided to start a support group for those who insist on leaving anonymous comments. Since I haven’t received any anonymous comments I feel I can be objective and help these people. I’m talking about those who leave little comments like “you stink and shouldn’t live”not the “you writing good. check out viagra. viagra. viagra. ” The latter have other issues to deal with — I think they need to see the good Dr.

However, I think I can help those who like to leave little comments in the anonymous. Before we get into the therapy let’s get this thing clear: this is an addiction. Get help before you leave yet another inflammatory comment.  

I think the first step would be to admit that you have a problem. Okay, now that was easy.

Next, from the movies I’ve seen, I think you have to replace your addiction with another addiction like smoking. So you might need to start smoking.

After the smoking is consistent you need to find a blogging name. You can use your own name, but that might be too big of a step for you. I think the easier step is to work on a pseudo-blogging name or moniker. You can approach this in several ways:

  • Do you have a hobby that would make a good nickname? Maybe you are an avid coin collector, then you could be “nickelmac” , “silverjoe” or “coinken”.
  • Were you a fast runner in junior high? Then maybe “dash”, “zip”, or “lightening” would be a good name.
  • You could also use initials — for example, if you name is Hilary Olivia Thornberger it would be “HOT” or Jeremy Ike Pulser “JIP”.
  • Your grandmas pet name for you with a number after it could be a good choice –“snuggles14” or “pumpkin5” — the cute names with numbers are always a hit.

You can overcome this anonymous habit. Repeat after me:

“I’m an anonymousic. I have a name, and I will start using it.”

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Monkey Farts
    Sep 09, 2007 @ 13:43:34

    Hey this could be fun. Who knew?

  2. Mist 1
    Sep 09, 2007 @ 14:05:42

    Thank you for raising awareness and educating people about this kind of addiction. Anonymous comment addictions are the new silent killer.

    It’s important to remember this is a disease. The first step is admitting powerlessness over commenting anonymously.

    It’s about time that someone spoke out. I commend your efforts.

  3. Theresa
    Sep 10, 2007 @ 09:23:33

    Wow, you have just helped hundreds, or more likely thousands of addicted anonymous comment leavers. I think you should also recommend they eat a buttery croissant when they get the urge to leave an anonymous comment . 😉

  4. tobeme
    Sep 10, 2007 @ 12:33:06

    Funny.
    Interesting how many people are not yet ready to reveal themselves. Like, what’s the chance of us knowing who you are anyway?

  5. Madmad
    Sep 10, 2007 @ 13:37:59

    Oooh. I had something relevant to say, but now I need to go find a buttery croissant. Eh. I’m sure it wasn’t important anyway…

  6. Anonymous
    Sep 10, 2007 @ 13:40:10

    I don’t get it….

  7. Heather
    Sep 12, 2007 @ 06:34:01

    Did you plant that anonymous comment? 🙂 HEEHEE.

    Dang girl, what I would not do for a cafe con leche with you. Love you and miss you!

  8. rjlight
    Sep 14, 2007 @ 21:35:03

    Monkey farts — thanks for that comment
    mist 1 — I’m trying to give back to society
    Theresa–thank you, thank you.
    tobeme — I don’t quite understand, haven’t I been so open about who I am? 🙂
    Madmad — yep, those croissants get you everytime
    anonymous — I know
    Heather — no it wasn’t a plant, but I believe it’s a regular being funny… wish I could!

  9. LOTGK
    Oct 01, 2007 @ 12:36:55

    Perhaps the anti-christ is attempting to channel through your blog. Of course, until he/she/it reveals oneself to the world, he/she/it would remain anonymous.

    Or so I’m told.

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