Slow Motion

When I was in elementary school it was funny to pretend we were moving in slow motion. I still do it only no one laughs. Some things are funnier when you are 9 years old. Lately, I feel as though my computer is running in slow motion. It’s because my computer is running in slow motion. 

A couple of weeks ago I got a warning on my notebook that said the fan was not working. Given the age of my notebook (4 1/2 years), the typical lifespan of a laptop/notebook (3 years), the cost to repair the fan, and the balance in our checkbook, we have decided we need to try to keep the one fan notebook living for a bit longer. Which means we have become the other fan. Everyday, we have to spray dust off all over the computer and tell her we still love her. We need to diligently watch her for any hot flashes and reboot her occasionally. Here is how hard it is to work on ‘ole Nellie:

7:00 am — turn on Nellie notebook

7:15 am — close all error messages and check e-mails.

7:30 am — read e-mails and re-boot if necessary

7:45 am — attempt to write something funny

8:00 am — still attempting to write something funny

8:15 am — spray Nellie with Dust-off and tell her I love her, disconnect from internet

8:30 am — wait to connect to internet again

8:45 am — attempt to write something funny again

9:00 am — make some tea

9:15 am — eat chocolate

9:30 am — try again tomorrow

Needless to say, Nellie is moving slower everyday and those hot flashes are more frequent. I think in order to keep sane, my writing is going to have to produce some green (or blue, red, silver — I’ll take foreign money too–well, Euros, Swiss Francs and British Pounds) so that we can lay Nellie to rest, and buy a young and fast computer.  


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. WhoreChurch
    Oct 13, 2007 @ 16:09:20

    Writing for green. Yeah, what about that? Why can’t our adoring fans simply pour money into our lovingly written blogs?

  2. Theresa
    Oct 14, 2007 @ 06:37:47

    Poor old Nellie. You’re going to abandon her for a hot young thing just because she’s too slow? Sounds like what a lot of men do to their wives. 😉

  3. elasticwaistbandlady
    Oct 14, 2007 @ 12:15:57

    Ooooh, did you name her Nellie after ‘Naughty Nellie’ on Little House? Or is it after ‘She used to be like a bird but now she’s like a slut’ Nelly Furtado?

  4. rjlight
    Oct 14, 2007 @ 17:37:16

    whorechurch — Wouldn’t that be nice?

    Theresa — I know, how cruel.

    elasticwaistbandlady–wow, you have a long sign in name. I didn’t really name her after anyone it just fit her personality.

  5. Debbie
    Oct 15, 2007 @ 07:30:56

    Um…rj…and whorechurch…have you asked for money? I’ve been known to shell out a few bucks for my favorite blogs. The first step in asking for money is knowing you are worth it. Guess what? YOU ARE WORTH IT!

  6. WhoreChurch
    Oct 15, 2007 @ 08:27:35

    Thanks Debbie, I’ll be looking for the check…

    Actually I am asking for it at a new commercial blog. It’s up but not yet quite ready for personal consumption.

    I do appreciate the encouragement though.

  7. Debbie
    Oct 15, 2007 @ 09:03:12

    WhoreChurch (just typing that makes me smile for some reason), I’m glad you are asking for some funding. I did a quick look-see at your site and am impressed. Your post on creepy Ann Coulter is worth large sums of money. Keep us all posted on the commercial blog!

  8. Luisa
    Oct 16, 2007 @ 04:51:27

    Awwww, poor Nellie.

  9. tobeme
    Nov 06, 2007 @ 11:28:30

    Always an adventure!

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