Jobs for Writers

 First, I apologize for those of you who thought I actually had some writing jobs. I didn’t mean to lead you astray. But, I might inspire you so you just read on.

I have been thinking about this writer’s world, and how little money it brings in. I am now getting paid for my writing; however, I probably couldn’t even pay for my ice cream addiction on the amount I make on writing alone. So, I thought about other jobs that could supplement your writing income, and still give you time to do what you enjoy.

Limousine Driver/Chauffeur:

I figure there is probably some down time in this job which would be perfect for writing, or at least taping your thoughts on a recorder to be typed later into an award-winning novel.

Apparently, there are four main criteria for being a limousine chauffeur:

1. The back of your head must be attractive–no dandruff or lice or unsightly cowlicks.

2. You must be able to parallel park a limo.

3. You must be able to complete a 3-point turn on a narrow street in less than 1 minute.

4. You must be able to spell both the words “limousine” and “chauffeur”.

Snow Cone Shop Owner:

Now I would have thought this was a job that would take you out of the home; however, after a trip in an interesting part of a local California town, I found out that you can do this from home.

Apparently you can put a little snow cone kiosk right on your front lawn and make a killing!  And just think, all you need is ice, food-dye loaded corn syrup, and those thin, paper cones. Your inventory costs shouls be inexpensive — I hear ice is reasonably priced. Make sure you buy the very thin paper cone-cups, they shouldn’t last but a minute-probably only cost $1 for 1000 or so. You could write in the morning, and then walk out the front door and open up your little shop in the afternoon when the kids get out of school.

Postal Delivery person

My mailperson scares me everytime I am working on the computer when he delivers mail, because he is talking so loudly on his cell phone. I figure if he can talk on the phone while he delivers mail, writers could record their ideas while they are delivering mail. You will have to put up with the occasional angry dog or crocodile, heavy catalog deliveries, and working on Saturday. However, you will get every holiday off – even those no one else has off-and you might even get a flexible schedule. I know I can expect my mail carrier to delivery my mail anytime between 11:00 am and 6:30pm.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Theresa
    Nov 15, 2007 @ 02:17:41

    Hey, I know how you can combine writing with earning money -become a fortune cookie writer! Now that could be fun. You could also be a weed grower…no, not that kind of weed! It seems scientists need people to grow weeds for them to experiment on, to find better ways to get rid of them. Just think how much money you could make by just letting your yard be overrun by weeds. 🙂

  2. Trackback: Why Writers Need to Strike « Soylent Green - ItsPeopleDammit(tm)
  3. max
    Nov 15, 2007 @ 15:13:46

    Clearly I have not been inventive enough I am dashing out for some ice and cones right now.

    [This was very funny.]

  4. Luisa
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 07:14:08

    I hear postal workers get great benefits….

  5. rjlight
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 16:37:51

    theresa — perfect, yes, I should have thought of that one. “Confucious say you will write on your blog soon.”

  6. rjlight
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 16:38:39

    max — remember to keep the ice in the freezer. That is why so many new businesses fail.

  7. rjlight
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 16:39:04

    Luisa -Well, think of all those free magazines!

  8. Diesel
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 19:47:54

    I made more money in the first hour that I was working at Google than I made on my book altogether.

  9. Deb (Missives From Suburbia)
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 19:53:03

    First off, you do not have to have an attractive head to be a limo driver. Trust me on that. I have seen many unattractive heads as the passenger in a Town Car in my previous perk-filled life. (I can’t spell limooooseeen, obviously, or I would have spelled it out.)

    Second, I think if you offered margarita snow cones, you could pick up the stay-at-home-mom market, and they would certainly pay a premium to make their afternoons a little nicer. (Yes, my former life was in marketing.)

    Lastly, that whole “neither sleet nor snow” part about being a mail carrier would really suck. I hear UPS drivers make about $80k a year AND they have the same flexible schedules that mail people do. Of course, blue is much more flattering than brown, but what the heck?

    Thanks for swinging by my Buzz page. You are the next contestant on my blogroll when I get around to updating it. Hilarious stuff!

  10. rjlight
    Nov 16, 2007 @ 20:20:18

    Diesel — I believe it. However, is that because Goooooooogle pays so well or you didn’t make a killing with your book. Okay, a bit of both… I guess you can be thankful you have writing talent and google talent and don’t have to sell snow cones in your yard.

    Deb — thanks for the ideas. Now if you work for UPS and wear “Chocolate” uniforms it would be quite fetching. Add a bit of light blue around the collar? And, I could go for that margarita idea — how about “Margaritas in the Snow?” “Snow Margaritas”? “Ice Queen?”

  11. Dan
    Nov 22, 2007 @ 09:18:44

    You may actually be able to do all three of these jobs at once … and then write about it. And then have Martin Scorsese hear your story and contact you for the rights to film it. Or something.

    Oh well, maybe not. Happy Thanksgiving!

  12. Jenna
    Nov 28, 2007 @ 09:36:10

    I had to laugh at the snow cone stand in the front yard thing, because I have a neighbor who does that just down the street. (This is a crazy southern CA town too). He sells hot dogs too. You can get those pretty cheap. Sounds promising!

  13. tobeme
    Nov 29, 2007 @ 15:48:28

    Cute, funny and somewhat pratical ideas.

  14. rjlight
    Dec 04, 2007 @ 07:35:40

    Dan, maybe you’re right!

    Jenna — I bet your neighbor is a writer! ha!

    tobeme — thanks

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