Charlie’s Nose

I have been reading Cesar Millan’s book “Be the Pack Leader” and have found it to be fascinating. We adopted our first dog 6 months ago. We rescued him from street life as a 6-month-old puppy. He is a mixture of dachshund and miniature pinscher from what we can tell. I didn’t realize how much of that dachshund was in him until observing him more and following some of the suggestions in the book.

One of the main ingredients to a healthy dog is exercise. If you exercise your dog regularly Cesar believes it will help many of the problems you might be facing with your dog. He also believes that you can tell problems with the owner based on the actions of the dog. I have always been a sucker for psychology-type books and linking the psychology of humans with the nature of dogs is intriguing. So anyway, back to the dachshund side of Charlie, our dog.

Dachshunds were bred to hunt. They have tremendous noses; they are part of the hound group of dogs. They are also low to the ground and they love to dig out small animals. Our Charlie has been quite the digger in our backyard. When it was just dirt it wasn’t a problem. Now we are trying to plant vegetables and fruit and plants that we want to live and his digging has caused some tension. So, we have been focusing on the exercise part of Charlie’s training so we have a more balanced dog—or a dog that is tired and not trying to work off excess energy digging out ferrets in our yard.

I have been giving him a good workout (and one I need too) and then I give him some sniff time for reward. Isn’t that what we all want for a reward? Yesterday I took him to the dog park to play with other dogs after his walking time. (By the way, that is another suggestion of Cesar’s – to give a dog a walk before dog park time. They need to work off their excess energy to help them be in the right mind to socialize. That is probably my need too.) I was expecting my Charlie to be playing with the other dogs. Charlie was sniffing the majority of the time. He played with some of the dogs for maybe 5 minutes and then he was all nose. He was so focused.

Cesar Millan also says that dogs mirror you. I felt like that yesterday. He entered the gate, gave the doggy sniff to the other dogs (the “handshake” for dogs) and then after being polite it was like – okay, I have work to do guys, you carry on and play, I’ll catch up with you later. That is so me – yes, I am polite and love to socialize, but I tend to be all business too—like every function has a purpose and it is my job to fulfill the purpose. Either I am thinking about my jewelry business or observing people to improve my writing. I guess I am sniffing them out too. I wonder what kind of books I could write if I could find out half of the stuff Charlie does with his nose?

Before?

My husband tells me long ago and in a far away land I functioned without internet connection. He says there was a time when those words “internet connection” were unheard of. I don’t remember those times and I don’t know if I believe him. I mean how did I keep in touch with people if I didn’t have internet? How did I know what was going on in the world? How did I know what the weather would be? How could I consult the dictionary or encyclopedia? I must have been terribly ignorant, lonely, and misinformed without it. The scariest thought is to think that I could get up in the morning and not know which celebrity wore the wrong thing out in public the night before. How could I make it through the day?

The last two weeks have been hit or miss with our internet connection. AT&T and I have become close friends. Today I was talking to someone for over an hour for her to tell me that I could be charged for the maintenance man to repair my internet problem. I wanted to tell her that I was going to send AT&T a bill for the work I couldn’t do because I wasn’t connected to the internet for almost 3 out of 11 days. I didn’t say that though. I wasn’t even icky when after hanging up with my new friend another friend from AT&T called and told me that they knew I was having problems because the office was down or disconnected or offline or in the hospital—I don’t remember. So this lady seemed to know what she was saying and said that I would not have a technician come to my house because it wasn’t my problem it was their problem. Of course I am still without internet so it is MY problem now isn’t it? But, obviously if you are reading this I was able to connect eventually. I just wonder when it was…

Head Above Water

I took my son to “swim” lessons today. I put swim in quotes because I love to do air quotes. No, I just think a 3 year old doesn’t learn how to swim as much as they learn to put their head in the water. Well that is all my children seem to learn. My kids didn’t get the dolphin gene. (They didn’t get the dolphin gene because my husband and I didn’t get it either.)

This is my son’s second class of 10 weeks. The first 16 weeks were spent perfecting the back float because that is all he would do. I don’t want to brag but he got that from me–I am the best back floater. I challenge anyone in a back float contest. I will win. My son however, couldn’t master blowing bubbles in the water until the 17th week I think. Every other kid in the class practically jumped in the pool headfirst breathing though their gills but my son didn’t want that face in the water. So 20 weeks and $250 later my son can now blow bubbles in the water and float on his back.

I took swim lessons when I was 7 or 8 I think. I remember being traumatized by the ugly plastic white swimming cap. It wasn’t just any unbelievable tight cap. No this cap was the designer cap– it had these beautiful molded leaves all over it. The  look was quite unappealing which is why my brothers liked to call me egg head when I wore it. When you have a huge pile of long hair and you try to shove it in a stiff little cap your head does tend to change shape. I also remember kicking with the kick board back and forth, back and forth and back and forth. But, like my son, I shined on the back float. Yes, my kids and their parents will never be swimming stars but if we are stranded out in the middle of the ocean, we will be floating on our backs until we die.

If Humor Blogging Was As Easy To Me As Eating Chocolate

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There would be a post here daily or even twice a day. I would smile as my wit filled each page or is it smile as I typed my wit into each post? I would have wit -okay? The comments would come from around the world. Obama would read my blog as he drank his coffee each morning and would even share tidbits with his staff. Yes, if humor blogging was that easy for me, you’d be here all the time. I know you would. Yes, if humor writing was so easy rjlight would be on everyone’s lips.

“Did you read what she wrote yesterday? I laughed and laughed.”

“Yes, ROFL, LOL, LMAO, all those things.”

Yes, if humor blogging was that easy. Well, you’d still be reading this post.