“We” are pregnant?

No, I’m not pregnant and my husband is not pregnant. As a matter of fact my husband has never been pregnant. I just want to make it very clear “we” cannot be pregnant unless the “we” is two women. To be pregnant is to carry a fetus. At this time in history men cannot carry fetusus (I so wanted to say feti) maybe when we get the cow to jump over the moon men will carry fetusus. “We” cannot carry the fetus, “we” cannot feel the contractions, “we” cannot push the baby out and “we” cannot breastfeed.

Now I don’t know how this got started. Did it start with that 1994 Junior movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger in his pre-governator days? Did people really think that carrying the fetus was a shared experience after watching that movie? Did some man decide that the woman was getting too much attention so he decided to say that “we” were pregnant? I don’t know but “we” can make a baby and we can expect a baby to come, however, “we”cannot be pregnant.

Now, if when people are saying that “we” are pregnant as in we are “abounding in fancy, wit or resourcefulness” then that is correct. I don’t, however, think that is what people are meaning to say unless it is a coincidence that she happens to be carrying a fetus at the same time she and her husband are pregnant as in “abounding in fancy, wit or resourcefulness.” I do have to say my husband and I have been in that situation three times — “abounding in …. ” while I was pregnant.

Last night as I was ranting about the “we” pregnant thing to my husband he mentioned that royalty could say “we are pregnant”  as in the royal we. Because the royal crown is considered to belong to the people, apparently, when royalty gets pregnant it’s the whole country carrying the fetus.  Okay, I’ll let all of England carry those royal babies, but here in the US can “we” stop being pregnant? We are done with this post now. We are going to get something to eat.

My Parenting License Needs to be Revoked

Do you know what it feels like when the phone is ringing, the kids are screaming, the dog is barking, and the UPS man needs you to sign for a package? That is how my week has felt. My youngest, normally very compliant son is teething again, only those buzzards don’t seem to ever appear. It has been very painful — for me. Sunday he was on my lap complaining about his trouble when all of a sudden he takes a chunk out of my arm! Okay, no flesh was hanging but I have a bruise the size of a quarter above my elbow on my right, well-chiseled bicep (completely true except for the well-chiseled part). More

Why I need to lock her in a tower

If you haven’t noticed girls are growing up quite fast these days. Well, they appear to grow up fast. They are the same little bodies in “adult” wear. It’s quite scary. The other day my daughter was invited to a birthday party at a girls boutique. I knew my daughter would love the party, and I really didn’t think too much about it. When I went to pick her up she had a new little hairdo and a bright eye shadow on her eyes. I wasn’t too excited about walking downtown with my beauty pageant daughter, but didn’t expect some of the disapproving looks I got from the women I passed on the street.  I don’t regret that my daughter went to the party, it was one day, but I did get reminded after reading this article that I need to make sure that she doesn’t get sucked into the whole tween marketing scheme.

Did you know there is urban slang for a little girl dressing provocatively? They are called “prostitots.” More

Polar Bears Don’t Have Labor Pains…

I have been poked, drilled a nd mistreated all week. Last month I had a temporary crown put on my tooth until my permanent one was made. On Monday, I went to the dentist so they could tell me that my porcelain crown was broken at the lab. They were very nice about it, even gave me a free dinner (at a restaurant, not at the dentist–yuck!) and said that they didn’t need to do anything. I informed them that my temporary crown was loose and asked if they could fix it. I didn’t want it to fall out and everybody think I was visiting from the hills of West Virginia.

The dental assistant got to work on my crown only to discover that my tooth had broken in my crown. So, they had to start all over again! I got more shots, more drilling and more fingers in my mouth. Now I get to wait another three weeks for my permanent crown!

Today, I had to go to my wonderful gynecological visit. I won’t go into detail about that, don’t worry. What I did want to mention is this interesting chart that was on the wall. I’ve had three children so I’ve been in the ob/gyn offices a few times, but this new doctor had some new “artwork” I hadn’t seen before. Have you ever seen those spaghetti measuring things More