Dog Days of Parenting

There are days when I wonder how I am going to raise my three kids. Okay, those are most of the days in the year. There are days when my oldest son drives me absolutely crazy and I wonder if his mouth stopped moving if he would still breathe. There are days when my daughter is pouting and whining and I wonder where she could possibly have learned this bad habit. There are days when my youngest boy is crying most of the day and I wonder if my head will every stop aching.

 

These are the things you never think about when you are falling in love with someone. No, you picture picket fences and bruised knees covered in band-aids. You imagine baking banana bread as your children knit scarves by the fire (no that might have been a Jane Austen book).

 

Parenting is hard most of the time. People are difficult all of the time. Just when you think you will be driven to madness, one of your offspring says something loving or funny, and you remember why you carried that sweet thing through 40 weeks of torture. And you remember why you looked like a beached whale and waddled to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Yes, you know that these dog days will eventually go away, and you will be left with an empty house. In the mean time, you look forward to the minute they are all in bed and Ben & Jerry calls your name from the freezer.

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So we loaded up the truck and moved to…

Fresno. Yes, we are moving to Fresno, California. We are already in California so it isn’t that big of a move. Bay area, Fresno — they are very similar. Do you want to know what the biggest difference is? Real Estate is almost one-third the price in Fresno that it is in the bay area! So, even though I must say too-da-loo to my ocean, I have to admit that farm land looks mighty good right about now. Actually, Fresno is the 5th largest city in California. Yep, it isn’t all cows and horses anymore. (Thank goodness for my daughter there still are some horses though).

Now, I realize some of my reader’s live a long way from California and know nothing about Fresno. I really don’t know much more except what I wrote in paragraph one. I am getting excited about being able to write more. With the cost of living lower than it is here I plan on focusing on making some extra money at home. My part-time job with numbers turned out to be closer to full-time (actually they are even hiring a full-time person to fill my shoes–what shoes you ask?–the cute brown sandals). I am tired. I can’t keep all the balls in the air. So, I hope to get some more writing jobs. The writing job for the movie website ended. I was a bit discouraged about that and then I got a rejection letter in the mail for a children’s article! So, I am looking for a bit of steady income/projects, etc. so that I can keep my blogs up– yes, plural–I have another blog. I have started a green blog — so you can see my serious green side (my left side I think). It is in it’s baby stages but you can find my second blog — Organic Green Eggs– right here and here (they are the same place, but I thought it sounded cool to say here and here). Since the cost of living is cheaper in Fresno, I wonder how much Ben & Jerry’s organic vegetable ice cream is in Fresno…

The book haven without overpriced coffee

When I lived in Spain one of the things I missed so much, besides mint chocolate chip ice cream, and my family and friends, was going to the library. Yes, there are libraries in Spain but they aren’t the same — for one everything is in another language. You weren’t expecting that were you? I read in Spanish; however, I can’t get into a book the same way in Spanish as I can in English. Plus, the book choices weren’t so hot.

So, back to the library. I appreciate the library–I consider the library one of the top underappreciated benefits of living in the United States. Isn’t it written somewhere — life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the access of a public library?

My kids are learning to love the library as well. At first, they really weren’t so sure about it. My son would take forever to choose one book — he kept thinking he could only get one “to buy”.  Now that the concept of borrowing has sunk into his head, he picks out around 6 and complains because he didn’t have time to get more–I throw in a few Spanish ones too (that aggravates him some which I’m not sure why because he reads perfectly in Spanish). My daughter thinks the library is the place were she plays while I pick out books for her — she is happy with everything and reads them all so it could be worse. she doesn’t complain when I throw in the Spanish books.

There is a contest of sorts this summer at the library–to get kids to read. They have a chart and everytime they read for 20 minutes they get to mark a spot — they have 45 spots –15 hours of reading I think. My kids think this is a race. My son has his stopwatch out and will remind his sister when they are close to 20 minutes so they can run to the chart and mark it. If I go into the living room to ask them something he stops the watch until he is done talking to me and then says “Okay, ready, set, go”  and they return to reading. I explained that he didn’t have to have a stop watch that it was “approximately 20 minutes”, but he has his system in place. It isn’t a race –they have until August 11th to complete the chart.

Believe me, it’s a joy to see my kids reading — because they are finally quiet they are learning so much. I was just hoping this reading program would last until August 11th — not a straight 15 hours, 0minutes and 0 seconds.

Ice Cream Maker and George Clooney

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5 minutes for mom is having another big giveaway and since I like free stuff, and I’m gonna guess you do too — here’s the link for you to enter. Okay, I have dibs on the ice cream maker. I realized how stupid I am — once I saw the ice cream maker I didn’t even look to see what the other prizes are…There could be trip to Hawaii — okay, probably not. Hawaii, ice cream, Hawaii, ice cream — I don’t know hard decision.

I was thinking that the tuesday ice cream posts have gotten well, kinda like the gooey ice cream stuck to the bottom of the cheap ice cream carton–you know what I mean? Yeah, old. Just think if I won that Krups maker I could well, share my personal ice cream creations. People would check out my blog from all over the world just to experience my almost-humor and award winning ice cream recipes. I would get so famous that I would have a talk show featuring “Ice Cream Tuesdays”. I would have guests on my show like George Clooney and George Clooney and did I say George Clooney?

the flavor is not just one…

Okay, I am going away from Ben & Jerry today to tell you people in the Mass. area about some new ice cream place. I really know nothing about it because I live in California and have never had the priveledge to check out Massachu– crap, I can’t even spell it.  I got a hit from this website and since they expressed such good taste in using their blog to promote ice cream I thought I would help them out. Since I know of 0 of my readers who live in Massachu— I don’t know if my blog will do anything. But it sounds really yummy with flavors such as Black Raspberry, Maple Walnut, White Chocolate Kahlua with Oreos, Coffee, Butter Pecan — YUM! I’m there if I could be there but I am in California and am not going to Massachu–so I’m not really there.

I must admit I am getting a bit disappointed with Ben & Jerry. I have been promoting them for about five months now and they haven’t sent me any advertising money. Sure we didn’t have any agreement or anything, but you’d still think they’d drop me a little check. Let see, with my readership, and if you figure out of that 5% have gone out and bought Ben & Jerry’s just from my constant reminder I’ve brought in an extra $20 revenue for them! Ben & Jerry, dudes, what’s up?????

The poetry of ice cream

I noticed someone did a search for “cute ice cream rhymes” and found my blog. I thought I would try to not disappoint them the next search. You can even sing the rhyme to just about any tune written in the 80’s. Be sure to click on the cloning link.

Ben & Jerry, your the best

Make my butt so nice — I say in jest

Ben & Jerry’s flavors are so awesome

I’m glad they don’t have chocolate covered possum

Ben & Jerry are philanthropists

Against cloning cows and for Festivus

Okay, times up

I know you all were just about to figure it out, but I hate making you think so hard. I am going to tell you the flavor:

Peanut Butter Cup

 I can just hear the groans–maybe next time!  

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