My Valentine’s Morning with the President and Elmo

My Valentine’s Day started with three wonderful cards and the president in my living room. I hadn’t cleaned but he didn’t seem to mind. I assumed he was going to wish me a “Happy Valentine’s Day”, but he just went on and on about Iraq–priorities please! My son sat intently listening to every word out of his mouth, but then got frustrated and said “he just keeps repeating things, he really needs a main point.” I told my son that he should be a bit more respectful as he is our president (I agreed, but I don’t want my son, at nine, to be so cynical–that will come later as he learns about politics). Then Elmo came into the living room in the middle of the conversation and the president had to leave (they can’t be together in the same room–something about their view on global warming).

My husband did a great job for Valentine’s Day–didn’t even get one thing off of my don’t buy lists. He got me a spa day–I think because my legs are so hairy–my toddler saw me in shorts the other day and thought I was daddy. Anyway, he did good! Now, I’m in trouble–I bought him fuzzy dice! 😉

5 things NOT to do w/your new gfriend on V-Day PART 3

This is part 3 (part 1 & 2)to my Valetine’s Dating Advice–hope it has been helpful 🙂

  1. Write her a song
  2. Cut up pink construction paper into little hearts together
  3. Dine at a fast food restaurant with a tablecloth and candles
  4. Take her to the theatre to see “Norbit” or “Smokn’ Aces”
  5. Go to a Karaoke bar so you can sing her Barry White songs

8 things NOT to buy your new gfriend for V-Day–PART 2 of 3

Part 2 of 3  

  1. Fuzzy dice –save that for an anniversary or something
  2. Grillz–too many styles to choose from
  3. Membership to Weight Watchers–hasta la vista
  4. Crest White Strips–can you be more subtle?
  5. Glamour Shots Gift Certificate–no, please no!
  6. Subscription to “Good Housekeeping”–what are you saying?
  7. “Beavis & Butt-head” DVD Collection–she’s probably got them memorized
  8. Sweater or sweatshirt with a heart on it–unless she’s over 60 or makes jams for the County Fair

10 Things NOT to buy your new girlfriend for V-day

  1. Stuffed animal (weird, weird)
  2. Heart locket necklace (great if you wanna go steady)
  3. “Napoleon Dynamite” talking key-chain (I know you want one)
  4. Digital scale (just say goodbye now)
  5. Cactus plant(ouch!)
  6. “Gigli” DVD (she doesn’t want to be the 10th person to own it)
  7. Paris Hilton CD (money can’t buy a voice)
  8. Gerbil (nothing says I care like a gerbil)
  9. Rainbow socks with the individual toes (unless she’s 12)
  10. Engagement ring (slow down, buddy)