While I was sleeping

The subconscious is an interesting thing. I try to take the time to understand it; however, when I am in the subconscious I am not in a conscious state to evaluate it. Okay, I just lost more value in my blog with that last statement.

I wake up with songs in my head every morning which makes me believe that my dreams are more like music videos. Of course they must be very strange music videos. Last night in one dream I was chasing a little toy truck down the street that changed into a dirty diaper. I woke up with “A Horse With No Name” by America stuck in my head. I have actually had that song stuck in my head for a week now. I have no idea why it’s in my dreams nor do I understand that song in the least bit.

If you click on the link above it’s a forum about what the song means. Many think it is about heroin–the horse is heroin. I think you would need to be on heroin to understand the song, but there are many songs like that. I also think that maybe the inspiration for this song was actually a well-known old “patriotic” song. Let’s analyze “Yankle Doodle” a bit:

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony (now, how small was this man that he could ride on a pony? And did this pony have a name?)

Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni (did he call his hat macaroni or the feather macaroni? I could understand how a hat might look a bit like macaroni, but a feather? No, a feather would look more like fucilli.)

Yankee Doodle keep it up (keep what up? naming his clothing after pasta?)

Yankee Doodle dandy (Okay “dandy” is a man who gives exaggerated attention to his appearance–according to the Merriam Webster online dictionary. So to bring this into today’s vernacular, Yankee Doodle was metrosexual.)

Mind the Music and the step and with the girls be handy (how is he minding the music and the step when he’s riding a pony? And after that last phrase, I don’t want this guy anywhere near my daughter.)

Let me summarize the obvious connection that a “Horse With No Name” and “Yankee Doodle” have:

1. One is on a horse with no name and the other is riding a pony that is obviously nameless as well–but that feather is named.
2. Both writers must have used drugs when writing the lyrics
3. You must be on drugs to understand the lyrics
4. Do you need more evidence?

I was released

Yes, my kids finally released me today. I managed to get some researching done for some paying writing gigs, but I was forced to play Scrabble and work in the garden the rest of the time. The Scrabble was the most stressful. My kids kept saying stuff like — “mom you’re always writing so you should be good at this game.” I can always put together great words, but they never can get on the board.

I am prepared for the next game. I have studied words that begin with “q” and don’t need the annoying “u”. At one time I had 4 “e” one “q” –no “u” in site and I think maybe an “r” and a “t”.  What was I going to do with those? When I finally got my “u” I had no place to put it and apparently “queee” is not a word.  Which reminds me of the randsom note. It was from a “randsom note” generator. I use the website quite frequently in my day job. So if you ever need to kidnap anyone and write a randsome note: www.addletters.com .

I don’t only provide you a laugh once in awhile–I also give you useful information to help make your day run smoother. It is so much faster than cutting all those letters out of the magazine!

Rhubarb

Yes, rhubarb, that’s all I have to talk about today. My husband loves rhubarb and strawberry pie. I’ve never made strawberry and rhubarb pie. I’ve made, chocolate cream, cherry, black cherry, apple, and cream pies. I’ve never done a thing with rhubarb except eat it combined with strawberries in a pie which someone else made.

I don’t understand the rhubarb. It’s a vegetable you know. Tell me when have you every steamed up a plate of rhubarb? When have you ever thought about this misunderstood vegetable? Why does it hang out with strawberries? Actually, it does occasionally hang out with other vegetables in salads every now and then, but I’ve never seen it. I also read it frequents cakes — alone. There is even a rhubarb wine — so apparently it hangs out with grapes too.

So, tell me how did a vegetable, with a name like rhubarb, ever make it into a pie?  Did you know there are at least 10 rhubarb festivals around the world every year? Did you know that June 9th is National (although I don’t know which nation) Strawberry Rhubarb Pie day?

Yes, there is so much exciting information to glean from the study of the vegetable, isn’t there? Did I tell you the leaves were poisonous? Yes, they are, but you can still put them in your compost pile because the toxins will decompose, and you will not be poisoned–as long as you don’t eat your compost pile.

I hope I didn’t disappoint anyone with this rhubarb post. I’m sure those Quince and Persimmon lovers would like a post for them and maybe someday their wish might come true.  And who says you can’t write something interesting when you have writer’s block?

Okay, I’ll play just this once…

Okay I am not much of a conformist so I can only do this tag/meme thing once (unless I change my mind which I can because I’m a woman). I have been tagged by TSM to list five weird things about myself. This has been quite stressful as I’ve had a hard day–I  had to prove I was human too many times on some blogs (text recognition) and I failed twice–does this mean I am mostly human?

5 weird things:

1. I used to love sardines when I was young
2. My dad let me drive his Saab Sonnett III (1977?) after I got my driver’s license-1st gear was shot so I learned how to start in 2nd or 3rd
3. After the Saab broke down I drove his 1955 Mercedes 190 SL convertible–the brakes didn’t work so well so I downshifted and used the emergency brake
4. I was a premed major for about a week
5. I once threw a chicken leg off the upper deck at Candlestick park (no one got hurt–I don’t think)

If you have a blog you are now tagged if you want to play, if you don’t-it’s okay, I understand. If you don’t have a blog you can play by commenting with your 5 weird things or you can say them really loud and maybe I’ll hear you.

The beginning …

Given we are at the last day of 2006, I will be predictable and start with my:

Best tv of 2006 : The New Adventures of Old Christine and Daybreak

My 2007 resolutions: To write!

Worst of 2006: Very hard — This is supposed to be a bit “lighter” but would have to say that one of the worst is the millions that died last year of hunger, AIDS and genocide while Americans are still more concerned about acquiring more stuff (okay I will get off of my soapbox now since I am just as guilty as any).

Most shocking 2006: Execution of Saddam Hussein (notice I didn’t say anything about Britney Spears which would be much lighter)

Trying to write the “best of” I guess is like writing an acceptance for the Academy Awards –no matter how hard you try you will always leave someone important out. Since my list was short and pathetic I promise not to present it on tv tonight and you won’t see it in any magazine (not that you were worried).