Well, I got off easy with my kid’s teachers this year. So easy I am wondering if they read my last blog post! My daughters teacher said she only needed a backpack. My son’s teacher said he needed 3 pencils and one binder with 8 dividers. That’s it. No pee-chee folders, no calculators, no bright pink erasable pens made in Uganda. I still keep looking for that note asking for more…
So I was driving the other day so thrilled that I didn’t have to look for school supplies and I started thinking about my next blog post. It is funny how you can think of something and it seems to be funny in your head and then you write it down and it’s pathetic. Yes, that even happens to me and comedians like Seinfeld (think the movie Bees, not everything was that funny.)
I also have this habit of thinking of all these ideas and then forgetting them. Now what I should do is to grab a pen and write them down immediately. I am driving many times when these ideas come to me and I haven’t mastered the writing while driving thingy. I can master the driving while putting on lipstick; while arguing with my oldest; while telling my youngest to not cry; and while telling my daughter to not kick the seat. I can also drive while chewing gum, flipping stations on the radio, almost changing CD’s, and singing. (Well the singing is iffy. I did get a speeding ticket while singing and driving 75 mph in 1990. It was horrible as I wasn’t even old enough to drive yet. Okay that part isn’t quite true.) All these things are legal too. What I can’t do in California is talk on a typical cell phone while driving. I must use the hands free thingy.
I have the handsfree thingy, lest you think I am breaking the law; however, I hate using it. Some people seem to love those bluetooth thingys. They wear them like an accessory and like to sneak up behind you talking on them and make you feel stupid when you turn around and say, “What?” and then realize they weren’t talking to you. My bluetooth is red and could be an attractive accessory; however, I have problems with it. It never listens to me. I have 3 kids and 1 husband who don’t listen to me so why do I want something that never calls when I tell it to call! It never recognizes my voice or just ignores me like my kids.
I have tried to use it a 1000 times and it just makes my kids laugh to hear me say “Call —, call —, CALL —“. As a matter of fact I hear my 3-year-old saying the same thing next to his play phone now and laughing. So now if my phone rings I try to yell in my phone while it is on my lap so I won’t get pulled over. The only problem is that I can’t hear the other person. Sometimes I hand the phone to one of my kids and tell them to talk–this works when my older kids are in the car. My 3-year-old has been terribly unreliable.
You might think I’m overeacting and the police won’t pull someone over for the cell phone law. Oh yes they will. If anyone is going to get pulled over it will be me. There are people that can do whatever and not get caught–and those people don’t even care that they are breaking the law. I try to follow the laws and as soon as I mess up–joe CHP is ready to pull me over. The other day leaving my kids’ school I pulled away from the curb without using my blinker. I looked behind me — no one was there. But of course I looked up to see one of Fresno’s finest looking at me making a blink-blink gester with his hand and shaking his head. I assume it is the blink-blink gester. It is confusing though because it is the same gester that in Spain means your lights are on. I first checked to see if my lights were on and they weren’t. Then I checked to see if I was speeding which I wasn’t — I was pulling away from the curb so I must have been going 5 mph. I then slowed down to 3 mph and prayed I wouldn’t get pulled over. He must have had other things to do, because I didn’t get pulled over. So, no phone calls while I drive. If you call me and a little voice answers, it is my 3-year-old. Talk slowly.